So, of course I am super excited that Spring is almost here. I cannot express how much I love this time of year. It's as if I have been asleep for months and all of a sudden I am awakened by the warmth of the sun...and all the sneezing : ) I'm ready for those lazy days by the pool, flip flops, the smell of sunscreen, big sunglasses, the lake, sleeping in, grilling out...there is just no better time of year! Something about the changing of the season brings about a deep change in me as well. It's almost physical. Even if I were locked in a basement for 6 months, somehow I would know it was Spring. It's just something I can feel. Maybe everyone can, or maybe I'm just weird. Winter is just such a depressing time to me...everything is dead and cold. Blah. Nature seems to sing when Spring rolls around, and rightly so. It's a reminder that nothing lasts forever, seasons change, life changes. It's God's promise to us and He shows us in the most majestic ways. I love how the trees and flowers just know when to bloom. And the grass knows when to grow. How could you look at creation and not believe there is a God? He knows just what we need, when we need it. He knows we can't endure Winter forever. He knows when we need that breath of fresh air, to see that little blade of grass peeking through the sidewalk...oh, it's just so marvelous to think of it! Ok, enough about Spring....
On another note, my baby turned 2 yesterday. I am having mixed emotions about it. I honestly never thought we would get here in one piece. It has been a long 2 years with many - indeed, many - changes and I think I have grown at least 6 inches in character : ) She really has been a bright spot in our lives. Having two children completes me in a way I didn't think was possible. It makes everything seem perfectly squared, which is just the way I like things to be. I read an article the other day written by a lady struggling with the decision to have a third child. It sounded so much like myself, I found it rather funny. It definitely got me thinking...now that Paisley is 2, it actually seems plausible. Don't get me wring, I am perfectly satisfied with 2 children and most days the very thought of being pregnant again causes a mini panic attack. I feel like we shouldn't push the envelope, we have two healthy kids, let's not try our luck. Then, there is just the slightest niggling in the back of my mind saying..."are you really done? don't you ever want to smell that sweet baby's breath again? don't you want that little finger to curl around yours? don't you want to try for a boy?". Humph. Most days, I do a good job of squashing those thoughts, especially when Paisley has single handedly emptied out the contents of my purse into the grocery buggy, or Haven has slammed her bedroom door to keep Paisley out for the 27th time. But, I try to picture our family in 10 years...Haven will have graduated high school by then, Paisley will be a pre-teen. Am I going to wish we still had a little one around? I just don't know. I think everytime you have a child, you don't really breath until they reach a certain age...I still haven't caught my breath. Come to think of it, neither has my mom, ha! Seriously though, raising kids is a tough job and I think two is plenty for us. We may regret it later...I don't know...but that's a part of life. No matter what you think you want, later on you may feel differently. I just don't see a third pregnancy in my future. At the moment, I am perfectly content. My plate is plenty full right now and my cup is running over!
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