All About Paisley

So, I am planning Paisley's 2nd birthday and it seems unreal to me that 2 years have passed already! In some ways, I am sad that she is already so big, mostly because she is our last one and I know there will be no more babies in the house. On the other hand, I am overjoyed that she is already 2, haha! Over the past 2 years, there have been many days when I wondered if I would make it. Every day was a battle....mentally, physically and emotionally...this pregnancy and birth really took it out of me. It's terrible to say, but with every day that passed I knew Paisley was a little older and I was a little closer to feeling normal. The pregnancy itself was a nightmare...well, to me anyways. I was nauseous almost 24/7, I had the worst acid reflux imaginable, I felt like I was going to gag all the time. I only gained 11 pounds because I could barely eat anything. I had a lot of pain and discomfort toward the end and I literally thought it would never end. When she finally got here (after the normal 9 months that every other woman goes through, even though it seemed like years) I was overyjoyed, for so many reasons! Of course, the obvious reason was HER...I was so excited to finally hold her and see what she looked like. And then there was the pure elation over the fact that the pregnancy had ended, I would finally be normal again. No more heartburn or nausea, no more sleepless nights, no more aches and pains...at least, that's what I was dumb enough to believe! The day after she was born, I started having problems. My blood pressure sky rocketed, to which the doctors and nurses completely overreacted, in my opinion. My BP had always been normal and then boom, it was high. They thought I had possibly thrown a clot to my lung or a million other horrifying things, which put a fear in me so great that, to this day, I have yet to overcome it. They kept me at the hospital for four days during which time I received 2 units of blood, and EKG, a series of blood tests that left me feeling like a pin cushion and numerous other tests as well. In the end, all was normal. I went home on BP meds as per doctor's orders and promised to check it at home regularly. When I went back for my 6 week checkup, my BP was fine and it has been ever since. I only took the meds for about 2 weeks because I knew that my high blood pressure was mostly due to the fact that I was so anxious after Paisley was born. It never did go down much in the hospital. Every time they came in to check it, I nearly had a panic attack, thinking it would be at stroke level and I would die, LOL. My mind can conjure up some doozies! So, anyways...I went home and my back pain continued, along with dizziness and extreme anxiety. The heartburn was less intense, but still there. The only thing that had changed was that I now had an infant to care for but still felt like poo. I thought that as the days progressed, I would feel better and better. Time was all I needed, right? Well, I suppose that was the case, but I never imagined it would take this much time. I still can't say I feel normal, as in, the person I used to be. But I guess I am accustomed to the "new" me by now. I still have chronic back pain and dizziness but the anxiety has lessened, thank God. Sometimes, I think about how I felt before I got pregnant and I compare it to how I feel now...it's like night and day. I guess you never bounce back from some things. Maybe being older this time around made it more difficult for me. I know my pregnancy with Haven was nothing like this, I was back to 100% within a month after having her! I wouldn't go back, even if I could, and change anything though. I wouldn't trade my little booger for anything, even if she has completely changed my life. That's what kids do...they come into your life and leave you speechless, in awe, overcome with joy....then they start crying and you realize what you've done! haha! Seriously though, I love my kids to death and I would give up anything for them, even my health or my sanity! It's been a long two years, but an incredibly joyous one as well. Paisley will definitely be what keeps me young, whether I feel like it or not! Sometimes, wonderful things come from painful experiences and it makes us thankful we went through it..I can't even imagine life without her. She is a little ray of sunshine in our world!