Captivated

Last night's sermon provoked quite a bit of thought today and thus, I must blog : ) It was a simple message really, yet so profound that most of us don't live it. The title was simply "Loving the Lord". I would like to preface this blog with this statement: I am in NO way trying to expound on what was preached. I am not trying to be super spiritual. I don't want any of you thinking I have a woman-preacher-spirit on me, though I have been called worse : )  I just like to pour my heart out about certain things, especially when it hits home, so here goes...

We all love Jesus. Even the drunk on the corner claims there is a God and that he loves Him. The fact is, piety has become an epidemic. People - who call themselves Christians - are walking around with their nose in the air, daring you to question their relationship with the Savior. They ease their conscience with a claim to religion, when their actions speak to an altogether different opinion. I do not speak of things I have heard, but what I have witnessed first hand. I'm not judging people, let's make that clear. But, upon looking at an apple tree and declaring that it produces apples, one has only voiced truth in the matter, not judgement. I have so far to go myself in this Christian walk, I try not to be distracted by others. I never want to be of the opinion that I am farther along than anyone else, or that my sins are any less condemning because that isn't the case. The sermon that stirred my heart was about loving Jesus, not just saying it, but really falling in love with Him. I have been guilty of vain repetitions, it's so easy to just automatically say I love the Lord. But, I started thinking about whether or not I had a real love for my Savior, a love that produced an obedience to His Word, even when it cut me to the bone. That's a sobering thought and I realized how often I have fallen short. I also realized how little I see it in others as well. We all have to look at ourselves in the mirror of the Word, but sometimes we have to glance at others to get an idea of where we are. We don't judge ourselves by someone else's standard, we are all individuals. But, if you are running a race and you never look at the other runners, you will never know where your place is, or if you need to make an adjustment. Sometimes, seeing something that isn't Christ-like in someone else's life will produce a deeper walk in our own life. We learn by our own mistakes, but also the mistakes of others. We will pray harder, live better, forgive more often. It saddened me to think that Jesus is longing for a love affair with His children, but we have closed our hearts to Him. I thought about the people that sit on a Message pew and never bother to accept the Word that is preached. They never consider for a second that the Lord is speaking to them, of all people. There is an air of hypocrisy that blows all around us, suffocates us at times. If there is one thing I never want to be, it is a hypocrite. I don't want to say one thing and live another. Seeing so much of it has left a mark on my heart, but it is a constant reminder of something I don't want to become. I want to be open and receptive to what the Lord has to say to me. It isn't pitchfork religion, we all need correction at times. I can't fully understand all of the things I have been through, but I see glimpses of the person I am becoming and it makes me thankful for my trials. I hope I can pour out the love of Jesus so much that people can't help but become saturated in it. Goodness knows, we all need more love. There will always be those pious, haughty, self righteous hypocrites out there. But there are also those precious few people that seem to be Jesus robed in flesh. Handfuls of purpose. A reminder that for every negative there is a positive, for every cloud, a silver lining and for every trial, a blessing.

Spring has Sprung...Almost : )

So, of course I am super excited that Spring is almost here. I cannot express how much I love this time of year. It's as if I have been asleep for months and all of a sudden I am awakened by the warmth of the sun...and all the sneezing : ) I'm ready for those lazy days by the pool, flip flops, the smell of sunscreen, big sunglasses, the lake, sleeping in, grilling out...there is just no better time of year! Something about the changing of the season brings about a deep change in me as well. It's almost physical. Even if I were locked in a basement for 6 months, somehow I would know it was Spring. It's just something I can feel. Maybe everyone can, or maybe I'm just weird. Winter is just such a depressing time to me...everything is dead and cold. Blah. Nature seems to sing when Spring rolls around, and rightly so. It's a reminder that nothing lasts forever, seasons change, life changes. It's God's promise to us and He shows us in the most majestic ways. I love how the trees and flowers just know when to bloom. And the grass knows when to grow. How could you look at creation and not believe there is a God? He knows just what we need, when we need it. He knows we can't endure Winter forever. He knows when we need that breath of fresh air, to see that little blade of grass peeking through the sidewalk...oh, it's just so marvelous to think of it! Ok, enough about Spring....

On another note, my baby turned 2 yesterday. I am having mixed emotions about it. I honestly never thought we would get here in one piece. It has been a long 2 years with many - indeed, many - changes and I think I have grown at least 6 inches in character : ) She really has been a bright spot in our lives. Having two children completes me in a way I didn't think was possible. It makes everything seem perfectly squared, which is just the way I like things to be. I read an article the other day written by a lady struggling with the decision to have a third child. It sounded so much like myself, I found it rather funny. It definitely got me thinking...now that Paisley is 2, it actually seems plausible. Don't get me wring, I am perfectly satisfied with 2 children and most days the very thought of being pregnant again causes a mini panic attack. I feel like we shouldn't push the envelope, we have two healthy kids, let's not try our luck. Then, there is just the slightest niggling in the back of my mind saying..."are you really done? don't you ever want to smell that sweet baby's breath again? don't you want that little finger to curl around yours? don't you want to try for a boy?". Humph. Most days, I do a good job of squashing those thoughts, especially when Paisley has single handedly emptied out the contents of my purse into the grocery buggy, or Haven has slammed her bedroom door to keep Paisley out for the 27th time. But, I try to picture our family in 10 years...Haven will have graduated high school by then, Paisley will be a pre-teen. Am I going to wish we still had a little one around? I just don't know. I think everytime you have a child, you don't really breath until they reach a certain age...I still haven't caught my breath. Come to think of it, neither has my mom, ha! Seriously though, raising kids is a tough job and I think two is plenty for us. We may regret it later...I don't know...but that's a part of life. No matter what you think you want, later on you may feel differently. I just don't see a third pregnancy in my future. At the moment, I am perfectly content. My plate is plenty full right now and my cup is running over!