To the woman who gave me life and taught me how to live it...I love you, mom!
I didn't grow up with one of those mothers who taught me how to put on make up, or turned up the radio and sang to the top of her lungs with me in the car, or told me the best way to get guys to notice me. We didn't swap stories of our "firsts" or stay up late planning the demise of the snobby girls. No, she wasn't that kind of mother. While other mothers were driving themselves crazy, trying to make their daughter the most popular girl in school, mine was teaching me how to be a lady, telling me that throwing myself at guys wouldn't get me a Godly husband. She showed me how to be a Christian woman, wife and mother. She prayed with me at night before bed and answered all my questions about life. She listened to me when I had my struggles and she always gave me the best advice. She has always been my best and truest friend, always putting my needs before her own, sacrificing so that I could have the best. The epitome of what a true mother is. Make no mistake, we have had our wonderfully good times, laughing and shopping and sharing. We've always been very close, and now that I am a grown woman, we have even more in common. But I still respect her as my mother and I never want to only consider her a friend, when she is so much more. A friend's love will only go so far, it has it's limits...but a mother's love is endless. When I look back on my childhood, I can hear my mother's words ringing in my ear and I find myself telling my kids some of the same things. I am so thankful for a Godly mother, who was willing to work hard at being a great mom. I'm sure she has her regrets, things she would do differently. But I can honestly say, she is perfect to me. I feel so blessed to be her daughter and I hope I have made her proud to be my mother.
The most important thing I learned from my own mother is that you have to draw a line between "mom" and "friend". It is often a blurry line, which is crossed too often. I always knew I could go to my mom with anything and she would understand. But I also knew that she wouldn't pat me on the back and tell my it was alright when it wasn't. I am almost 30 years old with 2 kids of my own, and my mom will still tell me when I'm wrong. Ha! I know it's hard to be your kids' mom, when sometimes you just want to be their friend. But our kids don't need more friends, they have plenty of those. They only have one mother and if we don't fill that role, no one else will. I want my kids to know that they can talk to me about their problems, that they can trust me with their secrets. We can have fun together and be silly, we can laugh and play and make special memories. But I have to earn their respect as their mother. I have to be someone worthy of their admiration, someone they want to be like. I want to be a good example to my kids, I want to know that if they pattern their life after mine, they will be just fine. I can't simply tell them everything to do and not do, they need to see the life I live and know that I live exactly what I teach them. It is, by far, the hardest job on the planet. It takes a physical, emotional, spiritual toll on you on a daily basis. When I stop and think about my job as a mother, I am overwhelmed at the responsibility. Molding young minds into decent human beings is a tough job. Everything I do, every decision I make will affect them and have a bearing on the person they become. I know I will have regrets, I already do. I guess every mother beats herself up from time to time, feeling like a failure when we don't seem to be getting through to our kids. Consistency is the key. If they see the same thing day after day, an unwavering love, a commitment to putting their well being ahead of your own, a constant faith...they will get the picture. Even when you think it's not making a difference, it is. I love my kids to pieces and the hardest thing I have to do is to discipline them. I don't want to hurt them or upset them, but what good am I if I don't correct them when they're wrong? It's a daily struggle, a constant battle. It's up to us to mold our children into someone society will be proud of, and, more importantly, someone that God will be proud of. He has entrusted us with a most precious gift, our children. Let's make Him proud!
